First quarter was scary as fuck. I didn’t really know what I was doing or what I was supposed to be doing. My main goals were to work out, study at least four to six hours a day (more on the weekend), and overall, just do well academically. I didn’t care much for the social aspect of it all. Now, I know that part of my life shouldn’t be neglected.
When I came back home from my first quarter, everything felt different for some reason. I felt more vindicated, determined, and mature. I felt different as a person. Maybe, it had to do with the fact that I had lost so much weight or my mentality became much more productive. But anyhow, everything just felt so different. I’m glad that the friends I had kept in touch with, those friendships were still the same. But, as a person, I felt amazing. Not in the heroic sense. But, in the “I finally know who I am and what I want to do in life” sort of way.
I feel that this quarter is going to be ten times more awesome. My classes are going good. Calculus is extremely difficult, considering the fact that my professor is teaching us subjects that should be taught in higher level graduate classes. But, going to office hours all the time and getting to know him better has helped so much. Office hours are amazing. I can’t believe the majority of students don’t go. They’re so helpful and friendly. They just strive to make your life better and they’re so good at doing it. If professors didn’t have office hours, I don’t know what I would do. Supplementary instruction classes are good too, but talking to a professor or a graduate student one on one is more satisfying to me.
On a social level, life is pretty great. I am so thankful for these various opportunities that have been given to me. Rushing for Omega Zeta Chi this quarter was one of the best decisions I could have ever made. It’s such an amazing sorority and all I wanted out of a sorority was a chance to be in a lifetime sisterhood and community service. I love community service. I can’t live life without doing community service. So, combining the ideals of sisterhood with community service sounds so perfect to me. It’s the best thing ever.
I have lost almost thirty pounds. I have yet to reach my thirty pound mark, but once I do, I will be sure to post a picture of me. Sometimes, it’s frustrating because I’ll be 121 pounds one day and 124 pounds the next. It’s disheartening, but I am really proud that I’ve gotten this far. I feel amazing physically. I no longer see “working out” as a waste of time or too difficult to do every day. Now, working out makes me feel so much better about myself and it feels so good on the inside after a long work out. My goal is to be around 100-110 pounds and I’m hoping I can do it by the time summer comes around (bikini season, haha).
Academically, I am on the Dean’s Honor List. I was really surprised when I found out. I had no idea until I saw my transcript and there it was in words on the bottom of it. All of my hard work and long hours of studying had paid off. I have never felt so successful in my entire life. I am definitely a college girl.
Right now, I am feeling a little sad about Luhan not being here since he’s away at basic training. It sucks that we can’t even talk to each other on the phone. I haven’t heard from him since Wednesday and it’s scary trying to think about what he’s doing or how he’s feeling. But, I just put aside those thoughts and think positive. I’m sure he’s out there in Oklahoma doing as amazing I am. I have yet to get a letter from him, but I know it takes a long time to mail something. Hopefully, he’ll receive my letters and have no difficulty in sending back replies. But, I feel like our relationships is ten times stronger. It sounds weird, because we’re so far away and we’re not even talking at this point. But, the fact that I have more time to grow as a person independently; the both of us growing and learning to care for ourselves without depending on the other person in the relationship. It has really strengthened the love that I have for him. I know I am in love with him and that I’m in a relationship with him, not because I need him in my life and that without him, I am nothing and I cannot survive, but that I truly love him and that he acts as my motivation and my main support to continue staying successful. I miss him so much, but the time that we have and will spend away from each other is going to be very beneficial to our relationship. I truly believe this.
Overall, my life is going pretty good. It’s steady.
